that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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