what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
