And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
