I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
