I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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