What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
