I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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