She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
