he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
