Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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