Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Of course I have a pirate flag
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
