You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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