i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
