dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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