Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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