Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
