We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
