Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
