I seem to have left my pride at pride
Say something about gay babies.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
