i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
