My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
