I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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