i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
