That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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