Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize