okay pat passed out under dana's car
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
