But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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