I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize