Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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