After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize