The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
