it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
