You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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