Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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