How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
