I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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