my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
