i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
it's like iHOP with fire
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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