She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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