You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
