she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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