ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Operation Purity has been aborted
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
