i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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