On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
