just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
