I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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