He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
