maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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