I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
