The maid of honor just puked.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
