She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
