yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
