Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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