He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We need to get me chipped asap
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
