wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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