spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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