Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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