oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
