That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
