If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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