i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
where does the pee come out of this thing
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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