Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
In other news, I just burned my penis
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
God I need to hump something, right now.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
