Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
