Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
