You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
