That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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